Couples Therapy in Lakeview, Chicago and Highland Park

Most couples don't come to therapy the first time something goes wrong. It's usually after a pattern has repeated enough times that you can't find your way out of it on your own: the same argument on a loop, a slow drift toward distance, a breach of trust that neither of you knows how to move past.

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When it's time to consider couples therapy

There's no single sign that means you need to start. A few things come up often enough to name: arguments that circle back to the same unresolved issue, growing distance or disconnection, difficulty trusting each other after something specific happened, or simply wanting a space where you can both be heard without it turning into a fight. If any of that sounds familiar, that's reason enough to start a conversation. You don't need a crisis to justify it.

When old patterns show up between you

Some of what plays out in a relationship started long before it. Protective responses learned early, such as shutting down, pulling away when someone gets close, needing to stay in control, or feeling like you have to manage everything alone, often come out most strongly with the person you love. One or both of you may feel disconnected from yourselves and from each other, without knowing why.

When that's part of the picture, we bring the same trauma-informed approach we use in our individual trauma work into the couples work, rather than treating it separately. If one of you recognizes a childhood where feelings weren't noticed or talked about, our page on childhood emotional neglect may be useful too.

How we work with couples

We meet you where you are, not where a textbook says a couple "should" be. Some couples come in wanting to rebuild after a specific rupture. Others are doing well and want to strengthen communication before something becomes a pattern. We work with both, and with everything in between, including couples where one or both partners are carrying individual trauma that shows up in the relationship.

The goal isn't to assign blame or decide who's right. It's to help you understand the pattern you're both caught in, and build something different together. Where it helps, individual work such as EMDR can run alongside the couples sessions.

What sessions are like

Most of the work happens with both of you in the room. There are times it's useful to meet individually for part of a session, to give each of you space to say something you haven't been able to say in front of the other, or to work through something that's more individual than relational. We'll talk with you both about what structure makes sense as we go, rather than locking into one format from the start.

Where and how much

Couples therapy is available at our offices in Lakeview and Highland Park, and by telehealth for couples located in Illinois. See insurance and fees for rates and insurance.

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Questions about couples therapy

  • Structured support for a relationship, usually with both partners in the room, focused on understanding recurring patterns and building healthier ways of relating.

  • Whenever repeated conflict, distance or a breach of trust is affecting how you feel about the relationship. You don't need to wait until it feels urgent.

  • Communication breakdowns, trust and infidelity, emotional distance, life transitions, and relationship patterns connected to individual trauma.

  • It helps, but mixed feelings are common and aren't a dealbreaker. That's often worth talking through in the first session.

  • Yes, for couples located in Illinois.